(I'm fully aware I'm getting into a minefield by doing this, but I'm positive this has to be discussed publicly, to the benefit of the community).

Earlier today a specific picture's comment section has been the location of a conversation, a part of which I expressed my dislike about, and I feel this has something to do with the file's sudden deletion. Before going any further, I did mention I was sort of offended by a specific statement, but it was in no way a call for censorship.

Which brings me to the topic. This isn't about discussions getting disrespectful or literally aggressive. These certainly don't belong in here.

What I want to talk about is when certain feelings are expressed, or should I say WORDED. I read aforementioned statement, didn't appreciate it, which I then mentioned, but there were absolutely NO hard feelings. I believed it was important to express it, respectfully, as part of a healthy discussion.

So I must admit I'm kind of confused as to how disagreements are handled around here. Isn't it normal not to agree on everything, all the time? Heck, isn't it normal as well that discussions can get a bit heated? As long as it remains within the bounds of respect, is it really a problem? And if you think I don't know what being sensitive is... heheheh... yes I do! I'm, like, SUPER emotional.

(Which is why I enclosed myself in a shell of unemotionalness for years, to the point I started to feel dead inside, but I digress!)

If I ever noticed that people were refraining from saying certain things to me because "oh I may hurt his feelings...", I would quite frankly be a bit sad, and also feel I contribute to maintaining an unhealthy mood. I can feel offended by something and be okay with it, and also okay with the person who that something is from, no hard feelings. People can have opinions different from mine, that's okay! But this is just my point of view. What about yours?

Let's philosophize!         

It's just the world we live in these days unfortunately I guess. People get their feelings hurt easily and if you have an opinion different than others you get shut out.

While we're all here for the same reason, our love of lighting, we're also separated by our differences.

Anytime you have this many people gathered together with so many different backgrounds and personalities there's bound to be some clashes, hurt feelings, and toes stepped on even when it's not intentional.

That's one of several reasons that my brother Desultory finally threw in the towel and called it quits here. He got tired of the drama and disagreements and there were a few members who got the better of him here.

Right now I think that the site is just going through a phase and with new members coming on board the boundaries continue to change. Hobbies and attitudes don't always remain the same.

We live in a society today where we have to tiptoe around because everyone is so afraid of offending someone else. And for good reason it doesn't take much to cause an offense anymore. No longer is it acceptable to just come right out and say what's on our minds. If Desultory had done that he would have been permanently banned from here months ago.

I was brought up in a way different time , a time called "If you don't have anything nice to say , don't say it !!"  I try my best to follow that one . HOWEVER ,  When the badmouthing is aimed directly at me OR someone I consider a friend , ALL BETS ARE OFF !!!

 I fail to understand why some people have to nit pick others . I personally have had a member or 2 that I've gotten into it with .

 I've said it before and I'll say it again , I'm here to learn , share what I've learned share photos and most importantly, RELAX !!! If I want drama , I'll go to work !!!

I was brought up in a way different time , a time called "If you don't have anything nice to say , don't say it !!"  I try my best to follow that one . HOWEVER ,  When the badmouthing is aimed directly at me OR someone I consider a friend , ALL BETS ARE OFF !!!

 I fail to understand why some people have to nit pick others . I personally have had a member or 2 that I've gotten into it with .

 I've said it before and I'll say it again , I'm here to learn , share what I've learned share photos and most importantly, RELAX !!! If I want drama , I'll go to work !!!

My thoughts exactly, Tim. Now let me address this from a personal (not an admin) viewpoint. That thread got out of hand, and perhaps I shouldn't say anything at all, as I took part, although I hope I wasn't out of order in what I personally said and if I was I apologise, as does Sammi.

We don't like unwarranted destruction. We find it tasteless and unnecessary. Lamps to us are more than just things that give light, they are history in the making. Look at James Hooker's amazing site Lamptech. He has put together an incredible collection of lamps and describes their history and that of the people who designed and made them. That's what LG should be about, not petty squabbling.

Ok, so maybe lamps aren't sentient beings, but they are to us more than just objects, it's why Sammi and I name some of them, like Gemma, our Gamma 6 SOX post-top, and Johnny, our Beta 5. Then there's Freddie, a 1000W mercury lamp (get it..? Freddie Mercury..?  )

Is that a gender thing..? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, I don't know. But to us, all lamps are important, and even a lowly incandescent lamp or small T5 tube deserves more at the end of its life than just being thrown out or wantonly destroyed to amuse someone.

That's us. Sammi didn't intend any offence and neither did I 

--

Perhaps I should say something from an admin point of view, but again it's just my view and not necessarily that of any other member of the team.

As regards the incident under discussion, @ WigWag - I should in particular address your concerns. I think we do have to take care with what we say, people do get offended, rightly or wrongly, and all of us, especially the admins, have to tread a fine line. This site isn't a free-for-all, it's not, whatever anyone may think, a democracy. It's a privately owned site, and without Patrick in particular it simply would not exist. He can't run it entirely on his own, he has a life, so he has us, the admin team, for support and day-to-day management. We take decisions, we have to, and not everyone likes all of them. Some people might call it censorship, but I think that's potentially unfair. Any society or community has to have rules, or it will fall apart. Those rules have to be defined by someone, which is what we recently did. That list is not a completely new one, in fact there is very little that is new there. It is mostly a collation of what has been posted over the 15+ years since Lighting Gallery was founded.

That's it, basically. Take care and try and enjoy the site for the reasons it was founded all those years ago.

Ria