Author Topic: Extreme depression... any advice?  (Read 4332 times)
suzukir122
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suzukir123
Re: Extreme depression... any advice? « Reply #15 on: August 22, 2021, 04:22:27 PM » Author: suzukir122
@Desultory13, although a dream car is in the works, I won't let it financially distract me. I've been good about it so far... I've been
keeping a strong eye on my bank account, and I've also paid all of my bills. (Including my electric bill... which has been really low despite
my heavy usage of electricity... fluorescent up-lighting. Seriously considering getting some form of magnetic Metal Halides as up-lighting though.*)
Regardless of where I stand with depression, I intend to stay financially stable.
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Re: Extreme depression... any advice? « Reply #16 on: August 22, 2021, 04:26:55 PM » Author: Desultory13
@Desultory13, although a dream car is in the works, I won't let it financially distract me. I've been good about it so far... I've been
keeping a strong eye on my bank account, and I've also paid all of my bills. (Including my electric bill... which has been really low despite
my heavy usage of electricity... fluorescent up-lighting. Seriously considering getting some form of magnetic Metal Halides as up-lighting though.*)
Regardless of where I stand with depression, I intend to stay financially stable.
Well if you can still remain responsible with your finances despite the severe depression, I'd say that you're doing a great job of taking care of yourself.
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Rommie
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Re: Extreme depression... any advice? « Reply #17 on: August 22, 2021, 07:23:52 PM » Author: Rommie
Regardless of where I stand with depression, I intend to stay financially stable.
That's always good if you can do it. Sammi and I managed to get debt-free a few years ago once we'd both paid off credit cards. We got rid of them and we'll never have another. Strange how not owing any money lowers your credit rating, though. I've never worked that one out; they say it's because they need to see how you deal with borrowing and paying back credit, but surely if you don't have any debts and don't need to borrow, that should mean that you know how to manage your money..? Apparently not, it would seem  ???
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Ria (aka Rommie) in Aberdeen
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Re: Extreme depression... any advice? « Reply #18 on: August 22, 2021, 07:40:32 PM » Author: desktoptrashcan
That's always good if you can do it. Sammi and I managed to get debt-free a few years ago once we'd both paid off credit cards. We got rid of them and we'll never have another. Strange how not owing any money lowers your credit rating, though. I've never worked that one out; they say it's because they need to see how you deal with borrowing and paying back credit, but surely if you don't have any debts and don't need to borrow, that should mean that you know how to manage your money..? Apparently not, it would seem  ???
Credit/loan stuff is weird. It sometimes makes my head  :eoled:
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suzukir122
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Re: Extreme depression... any advice? « Reply #19 on: August 22, 2021, 07:48:24 PM » Author: suzukir122
@Sox35, I may be financially stable, but I'm still in some debt. Ironic... my debt is actually relevant to this topic.
In 2016, I was in very dark thoughts, none of which I can talk about here. I texted some of those thoughts to a now former friend.
She made a call... and next thing I knew, I was at a hospital getting blood sampled, then forced to talk to a therapist.
I won't elaborate any further regarding that moment, but I'm in debt mainly because of that.
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Rommie
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Re: Extreme depression... any advice? « Reply #20 on: August 22, 2021, 07:52:01 PM » Author: Rommie
What can I say  :'(

Although if it helps, I'm a good listener  :-*
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Re: Extreme depression... any advice? « Reply #21 on: September 22, 2021, 10:50:15 PM » Author: Foxtronix
This is too important a thing for me not to rebump this...


Aside from the usual "been there, done that" reply, I want to share what I myself experienced for most of my life.


2017 to 2020 were tough years. I was never diagnosed with depression per se, but I was getting there, as a result of being an outcast for all but kindergarten and 1st grade. I'm not even saying I wasn't the problem (and frankly it doesn't even matter anymore, but I digress LOL). Being told at least indirectly I wasn't worth much at all as a person for most of my life probably broke me in some way, maybe permanently. But fast forward to 2017 and the whole thing really took effect, for 3 whole years. And it's no coincidence it partly matches the years I wasn't around here. Should I've stayed around and seeked support? Quite probably. But I didn't, thanks to this defense mechanism I built over years, which is to rely on nobody but yours truly. A toxic behaviour, indeed, I can't help it...

I'm not going to advise AGAINST medication, but it's my belief that if you don't deal with the core of the problem, any substance, legal or not, is just a band-aid solution. Unless of course there's an obvious medical problem to be addressed. In my case it was mostly a combination of severe lack of meaningful social life and unrealistic expectations about said social life. Nothing a change in mindset can't fix. Still not quite out of the woods yet, as I'm now dealing with another form of the same problem. Lack of deep friendships used to be no. 1, now it's lack of relationships that I'm focusing on. I just turned 28, yet I've never had anything, not a single experience beyond semi-distant friends. It's no big deal at 18, but getting close to 30 it's becoming a serious handicap, to the point I have no choice but to accept I may very well be single my entire life. Not a pretty sight but if I don't get used to the idea I'll really expose myself to depression...

Which brings me to the new tool in my toolbox. Quite unexpectedly, philosophy invited itself into my life. I don't think I can find words to describe how helpful this has been, namely the work of 19th and 20th century philosophers on existentialism and especially the absurd. In fact I'll try to find some of the texts from Albert Camus, who explored this subject extensively. My view on life completely changed, and now anything I go through just isn't as a big a deal. It's no magic but at the very least I was able first to get back to action, even just for the sake of not being stalled again, and second I could stabilize the downhill trend to depression and even improve things a bit.

Alright, this blahblah is long enough already. This thread isn't about me after all! Long story short: I was told countless times there's always a solution, and I try my best to make it true!
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suzukir122
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Re: Extreme depression... any advice? « Reply #22 on: September 22, 2021, 11:13:59 PM » Author: suzukir122
"Almost 30." Yeah but still, keep in mind that 30 years old is definitely on the younger side. It'll be a while before you can officially say "it's too
late, I'll always be single." Being single forever isn't really my cause of depression. It's mainly the vivid and constant flashbacks of the hurt caused
by those who obviously cared nothing about me. That does include relationships, with one in particular being possibly the number one cause of depression.
Pulling forward, keeping myself in shape, as well as welcoming any solution towards making new friends... these are all my last resorts... aside from vehicular
distractions. Hopefully it does work out in the end. Who knows... maybe I'll find girl during all of this.
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2. Weightlifting/staying extremely athletic
3. Severe Thunderstorms of all kinds
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Lighting has ALWAYS been a passion of mine. I consider everyone on here to be a friend

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Re: Extreme depression... any advice? « Reply #23 on: September 23, 2021, 10:03:20 AM » Author: Rommie
Hey, I was in my 50's before I met Sammi  :-* :love: :-* :love: :-* :love:, I never thought I'd find anyone either. The old saying "There's someone for everyone" springs to mind (cue Kenny Rogers song)  :mrg:
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Ria (aka Rommie) in Aberdeen
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suzukir122
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Re: Extreme depression... any advice? « Reply #24 on: September 23, 2021, 10:46:19 AM » Author: suzukir122
There's someone for everyone is true. My Dad met my Mom... Mom being from Barbados. No clue how they met. My Dad is from America, (black American)
and I know no story of him traveling to Barbados alone at all. But they did meet at some point, and they got married in 1985. Still together and
going strong, here in 2021. Although me and my Dad didn't get along much, their relationship together has always been something I've looked up to.
Regarding depression, it doesn't seem like it's something that runs in my family... and if it did, I was the only one that showed it.
Even back then, I questioned life, and I had stupid temper tantrums that would get me in a lot of trouble.
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Interests:
1. Motorcycles, Cars, Women, and Lighting (especially fluorescent)
2. Weightlifting/staying extremely athletic
3. Severe Thunderstorms of all kinds
4. Food and drinks. So gimme them bbq ribs
Lighting has ALWAYS been a passion of mine. I consider everyone on here to be a friend

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