I am currently battling depression and have been for about two years, and it only seems to not get better. To be honest, I almost pulled the plug a few times, and even almost gave up L-G (which is why all my posts were deleted back in early December). Today, I considered to stop posting or commenting on anything on L-G for the next few months, as I feel ignored or my content isn’t what people want or isn’t good enough.

I am under treatment and I joined L-G because I had nowhere else to go, and felt sharing my collection could be beneficial, but I don’t know at this point. Anyways, my story sounds kinda dark but that’s just the way it is. Maybe something will change in the future.

I am currently battling depression and have been for about two years, and it only seems to not get better. To be honest, I almost pulled the plug a few times, and even almost gave up L-G (which is why all my posts were deleted back in early December). Today, I considered to stop posting or commenting on anything on L-G for the next few months, as I feel ignored or my content isn’t what people want or isn’t good enough.

I am under treatment and I joined L-G because I had nowhere else to go, and felt sharing my collection could be beneficial, but I don’t know at this point. Anyways, my story sounds kinda dark but that’s just the way it is. Maybe something will change in the future.

I don't know if means much but I certainly understand what you're saying.
I have been dealing with depression and especially anxiety for almost 3 years now.
I'm glad to hear that you are receiving treatment as it's brutal to face it alone as I am.
These anxiety attacks have landed me in the ER more than I care to think about.
Anyway I joined LG almost a year ago thinking that it might be good for me and like you I've felt like quitting several times with the feeling that what I upload or say doesn't account for much.
But trust me as I have a few years on you quitting never works it only makes things worse.
Things may seem dark now but they won't always be that way.
It may take time maybe even a few years but things will get better so long as you remain focused and keep moving forward.
As for your content I like seeing the streetlights that you post. There was even a few with some power poles in the background that I was hoping you could get more pictures of but I didn't hear back from you.
So just to let you know just keep on hanging in there some days will be tougher than others so when that happens try not to push yourself to hard instead just take it easy.
As far as quitting LG try to hang on I mean how else am I going to be able to see cool streetlights in California?
The lights here in Florida are completely boring.
I can't quit anyway because Ria won't let me!
So lets just go to work!

I don't know if means much but I certainly understand what you're saying.
I have been dealing with depression and especially anxiety for almost 3 years now.
I'm glad to hear that you are receiving treatment as it's brutal to face it alone as I am.
These anxiety attacks have landed me in the ER more than I care to think about.
Anyway I joined LG almost a year ago thinking that it might be good for me and like you I've felt like quitting several times with the feeling that what I upload or say doesn't account for much.
But trust me as I have a few years on you quitting never works it only makes things worse.
Things may seem dark now but they won't always be that way.
It may take time maybe even a few years but things will get better so long as you remain focused and keep moving forward.
As for your content I like seeing the streetlights that you post. There was even a few with some power poles in the background that I was hoping you could get more pictures of but I didn't hear back from you.
So just to let you know just keep on hanging in there some days will be tougher than others so when that happens try not to push yourself to hard instead just take it easy.
As far as quitting LG try to hang on I mean how else am I going to be able to see cool streetlights in California?
The lights here in Florida are completely boring.
I can't quit anyway because Ria won't let me!
So lets just go to work!

Thanks, I appreciate it.

I don't know if means much but I certainly understand what you're saying.
I have been dealing with depression and especially anxiety for almost 3 years now.
I'm glad to hear that you are receiving treatment as it's brutal to face it alone as I am.
These anxiety attacks have landed me in the ER more than I care to think about.
Anyway I joined LG almost a year ago thinking that it might be good for me and like you I've felt like quitting several times with the feeling that what I upload or say doesn't account for much.
But trust me as I have a few years on you quitting never works it only makes things worse.
Things may seem dark now but they won't always be that way.
It may take time maybe even a few years but things will get better so long as you remain focused and keep moving forward.
As for your content I like seeing the streetlights that you post. There was even a few with some power poles in the background that I was hoping you could get more pictures of but I didn't hear back from you.
So just to let you know just keep on hanging in there some days will be tougher than others so when that happens try not to push yourself to hard instead just take it easy.
As far as quitting LG try to hang on I mean how else am I going to be able to see cool streetlights in California?
The lights here in Florida are completely boring.
I can't quit anyway because Ria won't let me!
So lets just go to work!

Hey jamie,

I can understand what you feel, sometimes the world just seems so worrysome. Stay strong my man, i would advise for you to try and recover some fo your deleted work here, that can help you out, the mods can help with that. Taek care and if you need someone to talk to, people are here.

(I would escape now when Rommie is asleep, she might already be tracking you so be prepared! Take advantage of the slap embargo! )

I can't quit anyway because Ria won't let me!

Too right, you're going nowhere 

I've been feeling a little "off" lately ever since the Christmas season was over. January, February, and March are always kind of "blah" months for me because of the excitement of the holidays being over, the cold and gloomy weather, and the anxiety of a new year full of unknowns (I do think 2021 will be better.)

I'm feeling tired and generally overwhelmed with day-to-day stuff I need to do. I only feel relaxed when I know I have a window of time to take a nap during the day. I seem to be sleeping a lot more than usual. Typically I'm a morning person, but lately I'll sleep till 12 p.m. during the weekends. I'm not sure... I'm really off with my sleep schedule and I feel anxious during the day while I'm awake.

I’ve been having some symptoms that might be depression. I’m not sure if it’s depression, but I want to pose the question...

Over the past month I’ve experienced the following:

Overeating and drinking too much leading to some weight gain.

Sleep changes, not being able to fall asleep at night and sleeping in too late in the mornings.

General anxiety and feeling high strung, without any specific cause.

Feeling sad or “down” for no specific reason.

Loss of interest to do things or keep up with events I’m involved with (i.e. sports car clubs, visiting family, taking trips, etc.)

I feel like I want to isolate myself and stay home as much as possible possible nowadays.

Does this sound like depression/anyone who’s had depression in the past dealt with these types of symptoms? Is this worth discussing with a family member or counselor?

Absolutely, I found that talking with a counsellor helped me a lot, and I was able to turn things round. 

Absolutely, I found that talking with a counsellor helped me a lot, and I was able to turn things round. 

Thanks  Talking definitely helps! I haven’t had the same access to counseling as I did when I was off at school, and it definitely made a difference. Repressed emotions have uncanny ways of showing themselves through unconscious actions, dreams, and physical symptoms. I’m ready to unload a lot of emotional baggage due to the Covid situation and all its consequences. The shutdowns and hiring freezes have made my life feel “stuck” when I’m so ready to move forward in a career and begin leading my own life. A lot of my peers and I are in the same frustrating “stuck” phrase. This too shall pass... 

This too shall pass... 

I certainly hope so, I can't take much more of all these [censored] face masks 

Yeah, I’ve been dealing with it too. Still in the middle of it, but CBD’s been helping me stay a bit more steady. I’ve been using one of the options from this list of best CBD oil in the UK list since it’s based on actual reviews, so it made it easier to figure out where to start

I don't quite know what I'm going through right now, but I'd say it's depression.

Ever since I went to prom two weekends ago (with the wrong girl too, but I'll explain that at another time), I've been feeling burnt out, depressed, and mentally out of it. Day to day tasks are a pain, and schoolwork is a chore. Keep in mind I'm in four AP classes and two honors. It's not like I don't care about school normally- i do, so this is quite unlike me. I've been feeling very "meh" mentally, and have purposely been isolating myself from most of my social circles, and instead talking to a few individual people who i find are the closest to me.

I think prom made me realize what a loser I was socially, at least within the limits of my school. I was voted onto prom court, but not for the reasons I had thought. I was blissfully unaware of the fact that people voted me on just to vote me on, because, haha funny guy gets funny nomination. It's stupid, I know, but i felt like such a goddamn fool at that dance.

I was very last-minute with getting a date, planning with whom I'd go, etc. so I wound up driving myself and the girl to the location while everyone else took limos or party buses. I had no one to sit with that I knew well at my table, and the one kid i could at least have talked to didn't show up, for whatever reason. So, factor in all of those things and add a girl that for sure liked me, that I did not like back (nothing personal, I just felt no attraction for her whatsoever), you get my situation. I mean, i had some fun dancing (on my own, as I decided not to let the girl bog down my night entirely, and kinda up and left to dance my heart out with some of my friends). She got the hint, and her parents came to pick me up.

I though, still had to drive home. Since I was taking the Turnpike, I drove fast to try and "outrun" the shittiness of that night. I felt like a laughingstock and just a straight up loser, as a lot of my friends that I'm extremely close with are in friend groups with people that despise me, and thus there is some form of "majority rules" in these situations and so i never get included into their group, as the people objecting are very vocal about their distaste for me and shut down any possibility of me coming along. I'm used to that now, though.

I think what hurt me the most though was not having an afterparty to go to after all of this. I kinda just sat in my car in an abandoned lot, texting people and asking if I could pull up. Of course, they all said no. By around one or so, I had given up and gone home. Had about six or so shots of tequila and went to bed drunk.

Ever since prom night though, I've been consistently closed off to nearly everyone. I've been taking long drives (200+ miles one way) for literally no reason, in absolute silence, or if I'm feeling somewhat better, with my music. Yesterday, I drove about two hours to pick up some Hubbell FS-2 starters I didn't even need. Why did I drive out that far? No reason. I seriously had no reason to go out that far. Though the day definitely matched my mood, with angry-looking rain clouds that did nothing more than dampen the already-depressing atmosphere of the small, formerly industrial NJ town i was in. I got to a point where i even drove circles around that rural stretch of NJ-73 and a few of the local roads. I urbexed a bit, at night, by myself. Which is dumb, but i didn't "go in" to any building, i more or less walked around the properties at hand in some sort of reconnaissance mission to then come back later with one of my friends. Don't worry, I'm not that stupid.

I think what tripped me up the most was what i saw when I accidently took the wrong exit (the one right before) the toll free bridge i was supposed to get on. I wound up accidentally exiting onto Trenton NJ's main street (called "State St") where I witnessed the aftermath of what I later learned to be a double homicide in one of the houses. The media desensitizes us to this stuff, but seeing something like this, something this despicable in person really instilled a chilly feeling in me. And what hurt the most was the open door into that family's living room, and the fact that there was a colorful bundle of balloons to indicate some happy event in someone's life. I don't know why it trips me up as much as it did, but it really made me a feel a weird way, something I can't put into words.

I also don't think the fact that many of my friends (with whom I usually talk to "old people style"- over the phone) are in other countries for spring break, while I sit at home, helps either. I've been sleeping the afternoons and often evenings away. Today was one of those days- I slept from 3pm to around midnight. So I don't really have anyone to vent this stuff to, which i think makes the situation 10x worse, and makes me feel 100x more broken and lost inside.

@Maxim I'm so sorry to hear that you've gone through all of that, I myself have never experienced many of those things, and hope to never experience in my lifetime. I sincerely hope things improve for you.

I've suffered a major depressive episode a couple years back. It took me several years to get through it.

Coming from a country where big proms simply aren't a thing, it looks trivial by which i do NOT mean it feels trivial to you, or your feelings are invalid.
But take a step back and think 'Are these really my kind of people?', 'Do i want to be with them because i like them, or because it is the "normal" thing to do?'
At least over here, the world doesn't revolve around proms. Even in high school, there are many different subgroups among which many don't really care about the school parties.

My social life became much more fun when i left the standard party crowd, didn't go to the frat parties anymore and such - but instead found "my" people. The punks, the queers, the tech nerds, the squatters (as in the political group that lives in empty buildings as a protest against the excessive cost of housing and the crime of leaving people unhoused when perfectly fine buildings are right in front of your nose - not the people who should be in rehab, who strip buildings of wiring and (...) all over the place)  and such.

If you live in some small town, this can be hard depending on the subculture you identify with. Doubly so if you're actively in a depression. But do try to find a group of people you actively like, rather than the ones you are just tagging along with because they're in the same school or college.

Take some time to think about what you truly like. Gaming? While LAN parties have gotten rare, people still sometimes get together the old way. Tech? Well, ham radio clubs have club nights. The greybeards are not most people's idea of fun people to hang out with, but who knows - perhaps you mesh well personality wise. Farm stuff? There's a whole subculture around farming-related competitions. Board games? Cooking? Sports? Motorsports? Hacking? Human rights?

So many groups of people exist. There is no shame in switching groups. I've joined and left more social circles than i can count. Some i've been part of permanently, many i've said my goodbyes to.

@Baked bagel 11 , i appreciate the kind words. Thank you.