So last year, I really thought for sure I had colon cancer. Really thought I did by my symptoms and people that had had it. I was scared, but got my first colonoscopy. It was such a relief when I woke up and found out it wasn’t cancer. I mean I was boosted immediately. Wonderful feeling! Best I’d felt in years. My dad took me for it, because you have to have a driver due to the anesthesia.
Then late last year my dad starts having health issues. Losing weight, can’t swallow food well. Uh oh. He gets an endoscopy and turns out he has a freaking cancerous tumor in his esophagus.Just devastated. Absolutely devastated. He had colon cancer a decade ago and beat it. My grandfather had stomach cancer in his 60s, beat it and lived to 94.
I thought my dad probably had quite a lot more years left, given that, and my grandma is still doing pretty well at 92 herself.
But I guess not. It’s sad how this happened, and he was doing so well up until just a few months ago. But this is esophagus cancer and the outcome isn’t likely good. We’re talking about wills and paying off the house and such and it’s hard to come to terms with this being it.
As some of you know, my mother has had Alzheimer’s for several years now. It now really affects her functioning, and there’s a lot that she just can’t do anymore. Especially over the last year I’d say. She used to enjoy embroidering, which she hasn’t been able to do in about 4 years. Used to enjoy talking to people on the phone, used to call my grandmother every night. Now never talks on the phone anymore. Used to love working in the yard, never does anymore. About two months ago, I referred to her as “mom”. She asked me why I’d calling her mom.
I realized then that at some point she lost the memories of having me and raising me. She knows my name, but she no longer realizes that I’m her son. Of course that was before we realized my dad has cancer.
Sorry I shouldn’t have gotten so personal, but this is just too much right now.
I always feared my grandparents getting dementia, etc. But they all lived to mid to late 90s! Like I said my grandma is still alive! I’m only 36 years old, and having to see my parents go through this crap! everyone else I know has parents in their 60s, 70, 80s still active.
And I don’t have any friends or family. When I talked to my dad tonight I told him I’m so sorry he has to have this garbage! But that I’m so afraid of being alone! My parents are all I have.
