Author Topic: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression?  (Read 8776 times)
F96T12 DD VHO
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Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « on: April 19, 2018, 12:22:29 PM » Author: F96T12 DD VHO
I have battled it and still battling it, in fact I've battling it for 5 years. But I hide it from everyone I meet (except my gf and her sisters)
When I hide it from people it gets hard
Lighting Gallery is actually helping me a lot, that and my gf and her sister "cuddling me", it's getting less and less every day and is stressful
How did I get in depression IDK and prolly will never know...

If you don't want to post in this thread it's fine because I understand that you don't want to tell your personal stuff on here
Just don't get this thread out of control

It's not as strong as it was 2y/a I seem like a normal person in public but at the apartment I'm always sleeping or browsing LG
If you met me in person you would think that I had no past of depression  :P :)
« Last Edit: April 19, 2018, 12:25:33 PM by F96T12 DD VHO » Logged

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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #1 on: April 19, 2018, 03:06:30 PM » Author: Ash
Dive into some adventure storybook or anime series. Something big enough so that it takes a while to go through and you have your time to build your world in it
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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #2 on: April 19, 2018, 03:29:06 PM » Author: HomeBrewLamps
Yesi have that aswell as a few other issues. The depression part has gotten worse over thr past week. Reason being  the girl I like and have grown attached to has had a situation and has lost contact. All I can do is be patient and hope for best. Co ld be years until I see her again so I'm in it for the long Rum.
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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #3 on: April 19, 2018, 03:32:24 PM » Author: Rommie
Been there, done that, got the T shirt, as they say. Still on a mild dose of antidepressants. It's not too bad most of the time, although I do have the odd bad day when I just don't feel like even getting out of bed :(

The situation has been a lot better since I met Sammi in 2011 and even better since we got married in 2016  ;D
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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #4 on: April 19, 2018, 03:59:01 PM » Author: suzukir122
@F96T12 DD VHO, yep. Absolutely. I'm currently going through it as well brother. Big time.
I've even made a thread a while back titled "Extreme Depression, any advice?" It's been something
that I can't quite explain and I'm currently without a place of work due to it as well, with
major help from family. That's about all the detail I can provide. This site definitely helps
with it, since there are others who share the same passion for lighting as I do.
My motorcycle also helps me fight depression. The feeling of soaring in the wind, unbelievably
quick, stomach dropping acceleration... etc, etc.
It's great at taking my mind off of the depression, but at the end of the day, it doesn't
tackle the number one sources of it. Tackling the sources... that's where I struggle.
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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #5 on: April 19, 2018, 06:43:12 PM » Author: Lumex120
I was experiencing severe depression right around this time last year for a few reasons (didn't get to the point where I became suicidal but it was pretty close) and what helped me pull through was talking to some school counselors and IRL friends about it. Another thing that helped is knowing that if it weren't for me, there would be one less LG member on here.  ;)

Do you have any other friends besides your gf that you could just talk to about it? That was the biggest thing that helped. I'm a little socially awkward when talking to people outside of my "friend-zone" though.
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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #6 on: April 19, 2018, 07:14:00 PM » Author: suzukir122
I don't like mentioning the big S word, and I won't after this... but my depression leads me towards that feeling.
I hate mentioning it and I will not mention it again on this thread (or on this site in general) but that's
basically where I've been at. It has caused me to say things, think things and do things I would not normally say, think, or do.
Including walking out of my job 6 months ago.
I know that if I'm able to get back on my feet (and stay there) things will be changing for me rapidly/significantly. But right
now, I don't have the credentials to make that happen, or the knowledge to do so.
As for you, @F96T12 DD, you're very young. You've got plenty of time to adjust and make things better.

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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #7 on: April 19, 2018, 08:48:39 PM » Author: Mercurylamps
Yeah I've been in and out of depression and anxiety since my teen years. So, over ten years. Never felt suicidal though.
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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #8 on: April 20, 2018, 12:43:03 AM » Author: HomeBrewLamps
I sometimes feel reckless, but not suicidal.
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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #9 on: April 20, 2018, 05:31:35 AM » Author: F96T12 DD VHO
Lumex120, I do but I prefer not to tell friends that I've known for like 1-5 months (which is really most of my friends)
I only hang out with a group of girls that know my gf and hers sisters really well and for more than... let's just say since elementary school (the group containing of 3 girls) Why, because they are my true friends who really would care if I moved, transferred schools, or even dropped out without notice
I have all their number on my phone (the 3 girls, gf and gfs sisters) and one or all of them text me everyday to make sure I'm ok. It gives me that warm fuzzie feeling in my gut. If I don't reply back (because I was sleeping or did not want to reply at the moment) almost all of them come up
My gf is most concerned
I’ve always been socially awkward, I’m that kid that goes into a group of people just to stand there and laugh with them as I really never talk
Lighting and 5 of my closest friends and my girlfriend seem to be my only hopes (also producing music)
I hangout with 6 happy people and I still seem to be different than them, one thing all 6 have little friends because they cared about school rather than friends
I love high voltage but if messed with wrong it could kill you so every time I mess with HV they stop me.   
« Last Edit: April 20, 2018, 06:57:46 AM by F96T12 DD VHO » Logged

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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #10 on: April 20, 2018, 09:48:21 AM » Author: Rommie
For what it's worth, I'm not in any way a trained counsellor, but I am a good listener if anyone ever wants a chat.
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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #11 on: April 20, 2018, 12:33:42 PM » Author: suzukir122
@F96T12 DD VHO... Yo... legit, I was exactly the same way when I was in high school. I'd
stand there and listen to the conversations my friends were having, and just laugh. I too was
a ladies man (in a party setting even now, that may more than likely seem evident) but I never was the
one to make the first move. It was always the women that caught an interest on their own. As
far as the conversations go, I would just stand there with friends and laugh while trying to
figure out what the heck to say. I would get mad at myself when I had no clue what my friends
were saying, what TV shows they were referring to, or just what they were referring to in general.
Funny thing is, I'm exactly the same way I was back then. (Only now physically stronger.) In other
words, I'm very, very socially awkward.
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2. Weightlifting/staying extremely athletic
3. Severe Thunderstorms of all kinds
4. Food and drinks. So gimme them bbq ribs
Lighting has ALWAYS been a passion of mine. I consider everyone on here to be a friend

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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #12 on: April 20, 2018, 01:29:36 PM » Author: CEB1993
I have had a fair share of depression that has come and gone in my life, beginning early in childhood.  I have problems with social anxiety, general anxiety, and OCD, and have been on SSRI medication to manage that since about age 8.  It's a vicious cycle for me where a period of high anxiety and stress will eventually make me feel mentally and emotionally tired and then transition into a period of depression.  When I'm depressed (my last bad episode was last winter, December 2016 until April 2017 during and right after my final semester of college) I lose interest in my hobbies (i.e. Lighting Gallery, model cars, etc.), feel socially withdrawn from my family and friends, and lose incentive to do things day to day.  Some days during the weekend, I would nap for an entire afternoon.  I don't like talking to my family about it very much, it's just awkward, and hard to explain.  I would sooner talk to a few notable close friends from college, and I also feel better about posting about it here on LG  :)

I would see a counselor on a monthly basis when I was still at school, and that was a tremendous help for me,  just to have someone to talk to, and who knows how to help people suffering from anxiety and depression.  I would highly recommend counseling for anyone with depression, and there is absolutely no shame in it  ;)  Just talking to a trusted person who is compassionate and knowledgable makes a big difference.  Even if you can't afford or find counseling services in your area, there are other options for help and support.  Check out local churches and community centers, because such organizations often have free group therapy sessions, support groups, and even folks who can speak with you one-on-one in a private setting.  

I will say that 2018 has been much kinder to me and I've had no more depressed episodes, and considerably less anxiety  :)  Please don't suffer in silence because there are people who can help you, and I believe that everyone has a purpose in life, and that everyone is intended to live a successful, fulfilling, and happy life.  Finding your purpose in life brings meaning and understanding to your time here on earth.  Now that I've found my calling to go to graduate school for Lighting Design (I was accepted two months ago), I feel so much better about my future.  



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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #13 on: April 20, 2018, 03:19:58 PM » Author: ace100w120v
I also deal with this much more often than I'd like to admit, I think it is mostly stress related (no shocker there, another stressed out college student here!).  When I get discouraged I often lose interest in my hobbies (Actually fighting that with one of my hobbies right now, though it's not the lighting hobby). 

As CEB1993 mentioned, don't go in alone.  Even in the case of the one I've almost walked away from a couple times, I actually worked up enough courage to tell other like-minded people about it, that I was considering making a departure.   While not to push my own sob story on anyone else it elicited some much-needed words of encouragement that I did need to hear at the time.  In other words, don't go in alone, don't bottle up these issues. 

I, for one, could never even stand to go talk to a third-party counselor (Especially since many of the "problems" I deal with in my daily life are ones that most people wouldn't relate to, you have to have some of the odd experiences I have).  That said, go reach out to others you do trust. 

Having a support network is a huge plus.  When I first moved off to college, 700 miles away from where I grew up, and having just departed a subideal situation (It's why I elected to move as far away as I did, I needed to get away for several reasons including personal grown and professional development) I knew precisely one person:  My first college roommate, who I had met the spring prior, on an online forum no less, by a stroke of absolute luck.  While that's a story for another time all its own, knowing one person, who knew all the same places and several of the same people I did, helped me not go completely insane.  Although they moved out and later out of state and I haven't talked to them in well over a year, I can actually indirectly blame them for much of the other support network I have now (long story for another post).

I'm generally pretty private about much of my personal life.  I am however so blessed as to have one individual I've kept in close contact with I met after moving to my current area a couple years ago.  We usually text each other the day's irritations (or blessings!) we need to get off our chests.  The milestones like "I got this job offer" but also the little irritations like "So would you believe me if I told you the State Farm agent doesn't know what Gross Vehicle Weight Rating is?".  I also get the same from them- things like "It's too hot to crawl under the car right now".  I almost certainly relate more stupid anecdotal stories to them than I relate to even my surviving biological family members, or even major milestones or incidents.  That said, having even one or two people in your support network can help A LOT. Or like-minded people if it's something most people wouldn't understand.  (as many of the things I deal with are things that 99% of the world hasn't even heard of). 
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Re: Anyone battled or (currently battling) depression? « Reply #14 on: April 20, 2018, 04:29:55 PM » Author: CEB1993
I also deal with this much more often than I'd like to admit, I think it is mostly stress related (no shocker there, another stressed out college student here!).  When I get discouraged I often lose interest in my hobbies (Actually fighting that with one of my hobbies right now, though it's not the lighting hobby). 

As CEB1993 mentioned, don't go in alone.  Even in the case of the one I've almost walked away from a couple times, I actually worked up enough courage to tell other like-minded people about it, that I was considering making a departure.   While not to push my own sob story on anyone else it elicited some much-needed words of encouragement that I did need to hear at the time.  In other words, don't go in alone, don't bottle up these issues. 

I, for one, could never even stand to go talk to a third-party counselor (Especially since many of the "problems" I deal with in my daily life are ones that most people wouldn't relate to, you have to have some of the odd experiences I have).  That said, go reach out to others you do trust. 

Having a support network is a huge plus.  When I first moved off to college, 700 miles away from where I grew up, and having just departed a subideal situation (It's why I elected to move as far away as I did, I needed to get away for several reasons including personal grown and professional development) I knew precisely one person:  My first college roommate, who I had met the spring prior, on an online forum no less, by a stroke of absolute luck.  While that's a story for another time all its own, knowing one person, who knew all the same places and several of the same people I did, helped me not go completely insane.  Although they moved out and later out of state and I haven't talked to them in well over a year, I can actually indirectly blame them for much of the other support network I have now (long story for another post).

I'm generally pretty private about much of my personal life.  I am however so blessed as to have one individual I've kept in close contact with I met after moving to my current area a couple years ago.  We usually text each other the day's irritations (or blessings!) we need to get off our chests.  The milestones like "I got this job offer" but also the little irritations like "So would you believe me if I told you the State Farm agent doesn't know what Gross Vehicle Weight Rating is?".  I also get the same from them- things like "It's too hot to crawl under the car right now".  I almost certainly relate more stupid anecdotal stories to them than I relate to even my surviving biological family members, or even major milestones or incidents.  That said, having even one or two people in your support network can help A LOT. Or like-minded people if it's something most people wouldn't understand.  (as many of the things I deal with are things that 99% of the world hasn't even heard of). 

It's true that having peers who are about your same age, same stage in life, same interests, etc. makes it easier to talk about what's going on in your life.  That's a good point about "problems," Andy.  Everyone has a different and unique life experience, and so-called "problems" are simply part of life that everyone has to deal with in one form or another.  As a psychology major, I can see how identifying "problems" in ones' life can lead one to feel even more troubled and worried.

I have found it so much easier to talk to someone who is about my age, who went to the same school as me, and who I consider my best friend.  We have a similar background and have gone through the same experiences of academic and school-related stressors.  It's really wonderful to have a close friend to share all of my experiences, good and bad.  The great thing about my friend is that I can be totally transparent with him, and he has seen me at my best moments when I'm happy and having a good time, and at my worst moments, when I'm visibly upset.  I'm not ashamed to talk to him about my worries, anxieties, or anything on my mind.  We were roommates during my final semester at college, and even though we are going our separate ways with our different graduate schools, I am blessed to say that our friendship will live on, and our support network of the two of us, and our other friends will live on, too  :)  The psychology behind the benefits of close and meaningful friendships is fascinating and I can say from first-hand experience that it has enriched my life, and reduced my negative emotions greatly.

I can envision myself becoming lonely and depressed again when I go off to New York state for grad. school later this year.  I plan on preventing that by reaching out to others and making new friends and forming a new network of people who are there with me, in addition to staying in contact with my friends from college. 

Some things that help me with depression:

Talking and hanging out with my best friend
Reaching out to my other friends within my support network
Engrossing myself in my hobbies (light collecting, building Lego sets, model cars, building a whiskey bottle lamp, etc.)
Doing volunteer work at church
Spending time with people who are respectful and make me feel important, and avoiding people who take advantage of and belittle me
Taking a drive out of town to the lake, woods, etc. 
Going for a run or a walk in the woods (and finding a nice, quiet place to set up my Eno hammock)
Taking a break from social media (Facebook, especially)
Helping other people and doing something to make anyone's life a little bit better

To everyone who struggles with depression, my thoughts and prayers go out to you!  Please remember that you are not alone in the struggle of how awful it can make you feel, feeling depressed and/or anxious is not your fault, and that there are people out there who care and understand, and are willing to help you.
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